The sun was bright today, and my Texas sky was as blue as I could I ever hope for. Even that beauty could not ease the sadness in my soul.My love was here with me this weekend. We talked and laughed and loved, held hands and spent time being quiet together. I slept in his arms, and woke to his smile. It was almost like an enchantment; bonded fully yet bonding even more. I was happier in those few days than I have been in a very very long time.
The man fills me and fulfills me; he is the yin to my yang. He teases and pleases; he is a strong, proud, temperamental and sensitive male. He is beyond compare; beyond words.
I should have stayed at the hotel and let him go to the airport alone; I knew it in my heart and yet I couldn't bear to let him leave that way. We went to the airport together, and I waited and watched as he checked in. A last kiss, and as he walked to the gate I could feel my heart breaking. He walked away, back to his life & responsibilities, and I remained behind. I know this is the way it needs to be, at least for a little bit of time longer. Knowing and accepting did not make the leaving easier.
I cried for most of yesterday, and for some good parts of today as well. It is foolish and weak, I know. I am a woman who has been blessed to have found my mate, and for that I am eternally grateful. It is the selfish, childish part of me that is crying. I know that. I accept that weakness of my character. But I am who I am, and I miss him so badly that it is a primal, haunting pain in my heart.
I need him to come home to me. Soon.
